Thursday, October 20, 2011

Love me, leave me, love me, leave me...

The past seems to somehow miraculously disappear, along with their declared feelings for us, and commitments to us, all in the blink of an eye.

This always puzzled me how I could be his entire world one minute and the next I'd be erased. He often would say "he was being good and staying away so as not to hurt me any longer." The significance I played in his children's lives seemed to be of no importance either. I was the "permanent" semi -steady relationship while he had multiple short time ones. His children are part of his disguise as a nice normal guy. So, he would bring new women in immediately to meet his children, while still having me around. This forced the children also to lie so his secret of a new conquest wouldn't be found out. Soon as he had the next victim lined up for over night stays is when he'd tell me he was going to be better and say away from me so he wouldn't be hurting me any longer. He would never stay away long though. This revolving bedroom door of his has taken a toll on his youngest child in particular who has become quite bonded with me. I 've been in her life for 8 years, she was just 2 when I came into her life. I feel so very sad for her.

 In the end, we come to realise that any feelings they said they had for us were nothing more than a primitive expression of emotion designed to have whatever needs they wanted us to meet in that precise here and now moment. Once they are done with us and have secured their next victim, they can delete us as though the past never happened and we never existed. And yet, periodically, they pop up to harass and stalk some of their previous victims, not because they miss them, but because they need those dominance bonds to feel empowered and alive.

Here is the full article

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