Friday, November 4, 2011

What Do Psychopaths Get Out of their Victims?

All psychopaths NEED a victim. However, what a psychopath needs from a particular victim is varied. Their reasons for acquiring victims aren't the same, nor are they the same from victim to victim with the same psychopath. Some just need a victim to keep from feeling the desperate lonely emptiness that is their existence. Some want money, status, power, a trophy, or it may be as simple as just needing a victim. Period. Someone to toy with and keep the mind busy with destroying it.

I know my psychopath thoroughly enjoyed my suffering. He wasn't satisfied until I was adequately, angry, frustrated, sad and depleted of all emotion. Then, he'd feel pretty good and want some attention from me. The challenge of finding new ways to manipulate, destroy, annoy, and batter my emotions was great amusement and entertainment for him. Over time, it escalated, as all abuse does. He needed a stronger and stronger reaction from me. This need forced him to resort to more and more cruel statements and actions. He also would push me further until he'd see me break down with tears and exhaustion. Then he'd let up and back down a little bit and be sweet and loving. This too escalated over time. Before long tears weren't even enough. He had to maintain the misery for longer periods of time. So, once I was crying, he'd still find it necessary to keep emotionally battering me to ensure I was good and destroyed so he could then be my rescuer again. It is a vicious cycle that keeps the victim and abuser in an addictive symbiotic relationship.
 " many instances, such as love relationships or faked friendships, it is not so easy to see what the psychopath is after... we can only say that it seems to be that the psychopath ENJOYS making others suffer. Just as normal humans enjoy seeing other people happy, or doing things that make other people smile, the psychopath enjoys the exact opposite." (The Mask of Insanity)

It stands to reason that at least in part, a psychopath is feeding off of the suffering of their victim. It would seem that suffering is what they get out of their victims. Could this be because they'd "rather feel pain than nothing at all?" Or, could it be because they have generally shallow emotions with the little emotions they do experience that they are desperate for that deeper "feeling" of excitement, or adrenal rush at our expense? A psychopath is literally feeding off of their victims sorrow and anguish the way we relish in the infectious joy or laughter filling a room. They have no reaction to such pleasant feelings. Therefor they are seeking to experience as much of the opposite as they can. Given they need a victim at their side because being alone isn't an option for them, it makes sense to me that having a victim to join them in their downfall of misery at least gives an intense feeling of something, which again is better than nothing to the psychopath.

 One thing we do know is this: many people who experience interactions with psychopaths and narcissists report feeling "drained" and confused and often subsequently experience deteriorating health. Does this mean that part of the dynamic, part of the explanation for why psychopaths will pursue "love relationships" and "friendships" that ostensibly can result in no observable material gain, is because there is an actual energy consumption?

So very true. I often was grateful, along with my misery, when I had been discarded because during the discarding phase the psychopath literally sucks you dry of all emotions. The only way I could see a way of getting replenished again was if I had him out of my life. However, because of the addictive cycle of the relationship, I would then feel a huge sense of emptiness. All that chaos, all that disorder in my life, though I hated it, I had become accustomed to it. My brain had literally become addicted to the rush, deficit, rush, deficit cycle of the relationship. That type of cycling does alter the chemistry of a person's brain. So biochemically your brain is changing, hence your way of thinking begins to change and become disordered in a sense as well.

Manipulation is the key to the psychopath's conquests. Initially, the psychopath will feign false emotions to create empathy, and many of them study the tricks that can be employed by the empathy technique. Psychopaths are often able to incite pity from people because they seem like "lost souls" as Guggenbuhl-Craig writes. So the pity factor is one reason why victims often fall for these "poor" people.

I can't count the number of times I mentioned that I thought my ex was a lost soul, or a broken man. He often seemed like a broken disordered human being. I saw this before I knew anything about personality disorders or psychopathy. It was evident to me early on that something was very wrong with how he saw things. At the same time he had a sort of brilliance to him that I admired. I frequently wished the "man" that I could see he almost was, would just take over. I see that that "man" was the mirage he was creating for me.
It is my belief that psychopaths want to take from their victims what they lack themselves. The are lacking, joy, empathy, love, and conscience. Perhaps it is those very traits they are looking to hijack from a victim. Perhaps the psychopath actually wants these traits to hold onto, in some twisted manner always hoping they will be able to feel that which they can't understand. Maybe it's even simpler than that. They psychopath just wants to destroy what it's envious of and wants to spread their misery because misery does love company so they say.

Here is the link to the entire article:

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